[tmatsmom]

My only son and my oldest child asked his girlfriend of 2 years to marry him on the 4th of July this year. They set a date of August 13, 2011. We were all so excited. They decided to get married at our home and do an outdoor wedding. Her family isn't able to pay for the entire wedding so I offered to pay a large portion. She also comes from a very small family and we have a huge family, so I felt it appropriate to pay for a larger portion than her parents. Planning was going along as expected; choosing colors, choosing attendants, looking for dresses, looking for vendors... Then suddenly in September they have decided to move the date up to THIS October 23 for an outdoor wedding in Colorado! I have no idea why they have made this change. (I'm pretty sure its not for the usual reason of moving a date up, a baby on the way.) My son says his fiancee just can't wait, she's too excited. This change has hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm heart broken. I have asked them to reconsider and they are not budging. To top things off my husband and I are going to be taking a trip to Hawaii from Oct. 6th to the 17th, which is paid for and no refunds possible. We will be home only 5 days before this wedding is suppose to happen at our home. They knew about our trip when they made this change. Do I have a right to be upset about this? What if anything should I do about it? I don't even know where to start planning now. They are still expecting me to pay what I originally offered. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated.
Mother of the Groom

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Sounds like all of you need to sit down and have a discussion to decide when the best time would be to host the wedding in your home. If the couple doesn't want to wait, and it's not a convenient date for you now, then they will have to find another venue or select a date that's better for you. Yes, it's their wedding, but it's your life and your money. All of you should be able to select a date that works best for everyone.

[Etiquette Now]

Great advice. Plus, mom, you are off the hook for funding this wedding. Parents are no longer financially responsible for their children's weddings. You were generous enough to make the first offer. They changed their minds. So, they should fund the wedding they wish to have. They should be doing this anyway.