[PB&J]

I have agreed to let my daughter be the flower girl in a wedding, and I understand that traditionally it is my responsibility to purchase her dress. The expenses for this wedding are rapidly increasing (my husband is the best man - so he is hosting the bachelor party, the bridal shower gift, the wedding gift, my husband's tux, etc..) Needless to say, we definitely have a budget. One problem... the Bride has shown interest in a $150 flower girl dress! (not including shoes, jewelry, etc). That is OUT of our budget! Is it appropriate to mention anything to the bride? If so, how or what would I say? I am conflicted because I understand that I agreed to have my daughter as the flower girl knowing that it is my responsibility - but I did not think it would cost so much.

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

First, let me just point out that your husband isn't required to host a bachelor party and the expenses are shared with the rest of the people attending (the bachelor/bachelorette parties are the only parties where "guests" share the expenses, cover the cost for the groom/bride and pay their own way). All pre-wedding parties are optional.

I think it's reasonable for you to discuss the cost of the flower girl dress. I know you can find dresses online for less than $100, so perhaps you ca find some dresses you like that are in your budget and send them to the bride, or show her in person, mentioning the budget. I wouldn't go onto all of the details of the expenses you're covering to be a part of her wedding. Just be honest about your financial situation and offer to work with her to accomplish both your needs and hers.

[Nancy Tucker]

I totally agree. Talk it out with the bride before it becomes a major issue for you.

[Etiquette Now]

Great advice! I completely agree.