[M&T4ever]

I HATE RINGS! Most of the work I do is medical, and the cleaners make my hands swell, and ache, so I can't wear a ring. My fiancee and I don't want to have engagement rings, which my family accepts. Wedding bands are another story. My family is demanding that I wear a wedding band. They have set a standard to at least 18k gold and a small diamond. I dislike diamonds, yellow gold, and rings. The groom also dislikes diamonds and would prefer a turquoise (more traditional for N. Americans or something) and engraved silver or platinum. He also wished I'd at least wear a band. What should I do?

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

There are many people who cannot wear jewelery for a variety of reasons, so you're not alone. I was married to a firefighter and he couldn't wear a ring for safety reasons.

This is a decision made between you and your groom. Your family really has no say in the matter, but you may want to have a gentle conversation with them about your feelings. You can be polite and caring, yet firm about their role in the decision (or lack of role really!).

Making these sorts of decisions before the wedding is good practice for fostering a healthy relationship after you're married. The two of you should be working as a team to achieve mutual goals.

Good luck with the discussions.

[Etiquette Now]

I agree. In the past, in certain societies, a ring was not the symbol of engagement or marriage. One such symbol was a spoon worn around the neck for the engagement. :lol: So, choose your symbol and don't feel guilty.