[Meredith84]

I am the MOH in my Sister-in-law's wedding. Since the other two bridesmaids and I are all out of town guests, I decided to book a restaurant (the Bride's favorite) for a bridal shower lunch. I figured this was the best option since none of us have a house to host the shower in except for the Bride's parents (which I believe is considered gauche.) I told the other bridesmaids and they said the restaurant was a great idea, but I wasn't sure if I should ask that they split the cost of the lunch with me? One of them is a graduate student and is living on a student income and the other I've never actually met. (She's the groom's sister.) Should I just email them and ask to split the lunch 3-ways? Should I just ask them to contribute what they can? Are they even obligated to pay, or is this all on me as the MOH? I'm trying to keep the cost low by doing a fixed menu, but depending on the number of guests, it could be pricey. Any advice would be appreciated!

[Ohio Wedding Planner]

Well since you took charge and booked the site (good for you) and then asked the girls about their opinion, you are technically considered the "host" of the event, which would mean you would pay for the bill. If all of the girls had sat down and agreed to a location and who would pay for what, then you'd have that already decided before anyone made a decision on their own.
With that being said, I still don't see anything wrong with sending an email to the girls and asking them, what part of the shower they could help with. Let them know that you are not expecting them to pay for the entire shower, but if any of them are able to contribute, or split the balance, it would be greatly appreciated. Usually the planning is done as a group so that a location is chosen that is affordable for all of those involved. Just because you picked, doesn't mean they are off the hook, it just means you should see what amount they can contribute, not just send them a bill.

[Etiquette Now]

I agree. They aren't obligated to pay anything since they didn't plan the shower. But, there is nothing wrong with asking if they are able to contribute.

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

I agree with the other replies. However, I'd call and speak to these women since email can be misunderstood. Call to make sure they understand that they aren't obligated but are certainly welcome to participate in the hosting if they want. They may want to be included.

[Meredith84]

Thank you ladies so much for the responses. The groom's sister actually emailed me, "Let me know what you need help with and how much money I need to chip in! Thanks for planning!" Such a relief!

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

I'd still reach out to any other ladies who might have interest or, at least, ask the groom's sister to spread the word.

Glad this worked out for you. B)