[Españamerican-Bride]

My fiance and I are going to be married in Spain, with his family. My entire family, however, would be flying in from the United States to be part of the celebration. We've already agreed that we can reasonably pay for some accommodations for the family most important to me (i.e., my parents, my sister, my aunt, and my grandmother plus significant others). I'm worried about guests who may somehow find out that we're offering "special treatment" to those closest to me and who would confront us about it. It's a large wedding (300 people at least) and there is simply no way we can accommodate everyone like that. Should the information somehow get out, how can I diffuse a situation with an angry guest? Am I wrong to want to make sure my nearest and dearest are there by paying for their accommodations? Any wisdom on the subject you can share would be greatly appreciated.

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

It's very generous of you to want to pay for your family, but really, you're only responsible to pay for the overnight accommodations of your bridal party. So, as long as you pay for the bridesmaids and groomsmen there shouldn't be any guests, family or otherwise, expecting to have their hotel rooms covered by the bride and groom.
Now, if you want to pay for some family members, but not others, I'd keep that as quiet as possible so as not to hurt any feelings. I'd be surprised if anyone had the nerve to question you about paying for their rooms, but if you're faced with that situation, I suppose you could explain that there are 300 guests and you just cannot afford to pay for all of those rooms. You'd love them to come and hope that they able, blah, blah, blah...

Safe travels and happy marriage!

[Etiquette Now]

I agree. If someone does confront you, explaining that you couldn't possibly pay for accommodations for all and would completely understand if they cannot attend due to the travel costs involved.

[Panache by Erin]

I think it is perfectly ok to pay the accomodations for those closest to you, especially if they are unable to pay their own way and you can't imagine the day without them. If you are approached by others, simply tell them you wish you could have paid for everyone to attend but it's just not feasible.

Have a great destination wedding!