[groomsister]

I'm going to be in my brother's wedding in the spring. I've met his fiance maybe 3 times. She is in the final stages of picking out bridesmaids dresses. She has asked for my measurements so we can order dresses, but she has not asked for any of my input into the dress style, shape, etc. My body type is vastly different from hers and her sister's (another bridesmaid). There is a third bridesmaid that I've never met and I don't know her body type. I'm not sure my future sister-in-law can make an assessment of what will look good on me and I'm afraid she will pick something that would not fit my body type. I know it is her day, and I want her to have bridesmaids dresses of her choosing, but I don't want to look bad in my dress either. I also don't think she wants a bridesmaid that looks bad. I'm not exactly sure how to approach this with her.

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Most brides do care about their bridesmaids feelings and want them to look their best. They usually understand that their friend or loved one is making the purchase and will have to be seen in public in the dress they select. Notice I use the word most. ;)

Have you spoken to the bride and the groom about making the dress choices? Typically, unless you don't live near the bride, the bridal party will all go shopping together for the bridesmaids' dresses. If that's not possible, then carefully tell the bride your concerns and ask if you could see the dress style before you buy. If approached in the right way and explained nicely, I'll bet the bride and groom will appreciate your concerns. Try to be open minded and, if you're unsure, see if there is a local shop that carried the style for you to try. But just the way we ask brides not to be the "my day, my way" sort of bride, we'd suggest that bridesmaids try to be as flexible as possible with the bride's choices too.

Please let me know how this turned out for you.

[Nancy Tucker]

I don't think there would be any problem at all with asking about the style and maybe even a preview of the dress. The bride has probably already taken your concerns into her consideration.

[Etiquette Now]

Great advice! This is exactly what I would have advised. I hope all turns out well.