[horizons]

Hi:

Thank you for this web site. I regret not finding it sooner.

We recently got married in Hawaii. We originally were planning a traditional wedding. Plans changed due to unforeseen circumstances. We decided to be married civilly.

We told our closest family members we were doing this and later we would have a reception and a traditional religious ceremony where the family can be a part of our exchange of vows.

However, I feel I made a mistake by sending out announcements that we got married and there will be a "celebration to follow" since we do not have a specific date yet. I felt perplexed after a close friend stated "you are getting married again in March?"

However, I now feel this was a faux paus on my part. If I send out reception invitations inviting everyone that received an announcement to a reception and placing ceremony invites only to those attending a traditional (religious) ceremony (family), will guests be confused attending? Would people think I am getting married twice?

Should it be worded " Wedding Celebration"? Should they need to know a private ceremony will be taking place?

thank you,

[Panache by Erin]

Many destination wedding couples decide to have a reception upon returning home so that their friends and family can join in the celebration. However, since you have already sent out a wedding announcement, I would suggest following up with a reception or wedding celebration invitation to those you would like to attend. As with any wedding ceremony that is to be "family only" just send ceremony invitations to those family members you wish to attend the reenactment of the exchange of vows and reception invitations to everyone else.

I hope this helps!

[Etiquette Now]

Yes, I agree to send wedding reception invitations to all those you wish to attend. (must be held within one year) However, your religious ceremony should not be viewed as a wedding. This is probably why your friend questioned you--very confusing. Once a person is married, they are. And, to host another wedding is not polite or proper. A religious ceremony is considered proper, however. But, these are supposed to be private family affairs without any wedding elements--no attendants, wedding attire, prewedding parties, or gifts. The reception isn't a gift giving event either.

It sounds as if your religious ceremony is private and includes only family, which is very positive. These guests would receive separate invitations for this event (could be included with the reception invitation). Alternately, you could verbally invite them since this is often part of the regular church service and/or you shouldn't have many guests invited.

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

I'd just like to add that the invitations sent for the ceremony shouldn't be standard wedding ceremony invitations since this isn't really a wedding ceremony. Even though the wedding you had was done civilly, it was still a wedding since the outcome is marriage.

For future readers, there's no need to send wedding announcements if you plan on hosting a reception upon returning from the destination wedding or elopement. only send announcements to those who won;t be invited and who really need to know.

[Panache by Erin]

I'm afraid I may not have been clear in my answer to this question. I agree that once you are married, you are married and you shouldn't have another "wedding ceremony." However, a blessing of the marriage is ok and is what I assumed you meant by reenactment.