[teris021561]

The mother of the bride always gets to choose her color first :), I am the mother of the groom, MOB choose Champagne and bought her dress. I found a dress in the color of eggplant (deep purple) and purchased it. I have now been told that the MOB is planning on changing her dress for the reception and has decided to wear a plum color and would like me to choose a different color. The bride would like me to return the dress and choose a different color because her mother does have the choice of color first. Should I return the dress and start over (I have 6 months before the wedding) or do I just let her wear her plum color in the evening?

[Nancy Tucker]

You actually do not have to do anything, since you have done your part and the MOB has decided to change into a different color for the reception. However, you can return your dress and comply or treat yourself to a second dress just as she is. These options will make a possible issue, a non-issue. Enjoy!

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Changing into another dress for the reception isn't a typical thing to do. Since she didn't let you know she was going to do this, you really don;t have any obligation to change now. However, you'll probably be in a bad spot with the bride and her mom (though they have no right to expect you to change IMO).

As a recent MOG, I did a lot of research and shopping and would like to note that it may be impossible for you to return your dress. Better check your sales receipt. If it's possible to return or exchange, you may want to just to keep the peace. But if this dress is THE dress for you or you can't return it then I'd get with your son and explain to him about what's going on. Solicit his help in your defense (unless you're close with the MOB and/or Bride and you feel as though you can speak honestly with them.

Good luck with this. Let us know how it turns out.

[Etiquette Now]

I agree with all the above advice. It really wasn't fair of them to request this of you. But, to keep the peace, sometimes we have to bend--a lot :)

A little note to moms: Please try not to make your child's wedding all about you. Sometimes, not always, when we moms change dresses in between wedding events it could appear negative, as if we want to play dress-up and be the center of attention. Sometimes we feel as if we need to do this because one of the events is more formal than the other. But, this isn't the norm and we should try to host both events in the same formality.

[teris021561]

To keep peace with son and daughter-in-law to be I have returned the dress - 20% restocking fee - now I have no clue what color to wear as the color options left just are not me - Black, Red, Orange, or yellow. :(

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

That was very generous of you.

Can you tell us what color the bridesmaids are wearing?