[CatLover]

My FH and I live abroad - currently for 6 and 4 years respectively, together for 3 years. For financial and personal reasons, we are planning on moving back to America within the next 2 yrs (hopefully sooner) and would like to have the wedding ceremony there.

We had hoped to have a wedding party with our friends and family overseas attending, but had thought that it would be closer to when we would be leaving. Recently, we found out that my parents and sister are planning to visit this Spring or Summer (they had never been able to visit previously).

Therefore, I had hoped to move up the "wedding party" to when my family will be visiting so that they will be able to participate. Most of our friends here will be unable to attend our wedding in America for financial reasons , so it's important to us that we have an opportunity celebrate with them.

As we will not be officially "married" during this party, would it be inappropriate to call it a wedding party? Or would it be better to say an engagement party, although we will have been engaged for over 8 months by this Summer? Also, how do I make sure our friends and family in the States are not offended for not being invited? :blink:

Any advice or guidance would be GREATLY appreciated, as we are very lost.

Thank you!

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

An engagement party isn't a party you host for yourselves. Only those invited to the wedding should be invited to a pre-wedding party. However, if you were to get married where you live now, you could host a reception back in the US when you arrive.

[Panache by Erin]

I agree. Maybe one of your friends overseas will offer to give you a shower or party of some sort so those who you are close to can congratulate you. Regardless of where you have your wedding, I would still send invitations to those you are friends with overseas. They may not be able to attend but they'll appreciate the invite.

[Etiquette Now]

Whoa, sorry. But, a shower is only for those invited to the wedding. And, only those invited to the wedding may be invited to any prewedding party. The reason is that if we invite guests to a prewedding party and not the wedding, it is as if these people are not good enough for our wedding, but good enough to give us gifts. Plus, there is usually an "excited" feel during these parties (upcoming wedding talk) and those not invited to the wedding just may feel left out. It just isn't something we do to others.

So, I agree that it may be best to host a wedding there and a reception at home in the US. You could include videos of your wedding and of your previous home. Guests should really enjoy that. This, of course, would have to be held within one year after your wedding.

Other than that, sending videos of your wedding to your friends at your current home is the only alternative I can think of right now.

A wedding party wouldn't be appropriate. This would appear more of a "pre-wedding" reception, which is not polite or appropriate. We just don't do it.