[hopefull]

my son has been with fiance for six years ,she has been married before.
She says she wants a small wedding ,and a reception.
Son says he doesn't care,which he does he just is a guy ,and does not want to upset her.
He comes from a family of many Aunts and Uncles who are all very close.He has one brother who I think he will be asking to be best man.
She says about thirty people total is what she wants at wedding,parents ,grandparents which my sons grandparents have all passe away.His Aunts and Uncles and his Father,brother and I are his family ,I don't know who she has planned on from her family.But there is more than parents and grandparents and her two brothers.
I usually can talk to her but when I told her his Aunts and Uncle will be very dissapointed , she told me they will just have to deal with it.
Don't want to talk to son and put him in the middle and I don't want to upset her . But how do I make her understand how important shareing this time with them is to trhis family ,.
She knows how close the family is and I am surprized .Please help. I want this to be a wonderful day for them both.

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

If you have concerns you should talk to your son. He should be in the middle of it. This is his wedding. The bride and groom have to decide on the type of wedding they both want and then plan it. This includes the guest list.

As the groom's mother, you can make suggestions to your son and his bride, but they should just be suggestions. If you approach them in a reasonable manner and explain things logically, the couple will probably have a better response. But, if they both want a very small wedding and reception, and the guest list has to be cut, it is ultimately their decision.

I hope you can all come to a mutually satisfying outcome.

[Etiquette Now]

I agree. It is their wedding, not just hers. But, if he wants the small wedding, that should be the last word. Many times aunts and uncles are not invited because it is a small affair. So, this is not unusual.