[MarylandBride]

I am originally from Michigan and all of my family still remains there. My fiance' and I live in Maryland and are having our ceremony and reception in Maryland. Our guest list is large (200) due to his large family and our friends in Maryland. My mother would like to host an Encore Celebration back in Michigan a few months after the wedding for all of the people that aren't invited to the Maryland wedding. Should we include the Encore Celebration invitation within the wedding invitation and allow the guests to RSVP to one or both events? Or should we just send out Save the Dates for the Encore Celebration before the wedding and then a separate Encore Celebration invitation after? We also want to invite everyone to the showers but etiquette says we shouldn't when they aren't invited to the actual wedding, but in our circumstance they would be invited to the Encore Celebration. Please help!

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Maryland Bride,

Only those invited to the wedding may be invited to a shower--no exceptions. Plus, not all wedding guests are invited to a shower. This is like asking every wedding guest for two gifts. You did mention "showers". This could appear greedy if you accept more than 2 showers. And, please remember that you or family cannot request or host one. Family who are also attendants may though.

Sending out save the dates to the second reception would be confusing since you don't know the date and this party is basically for those in Michigan. Plus, these are not really necessary since this party is for locals living near your mother. So, they wouldn't need to make travel plans, which is why we would send the save the date in the first place. However, if you are considering inviting your wedding guests to the second party, you could include a note in your wedding invitations that there will be a second reception in Michigan a few months after the wedding. If you have a date, you could include the date. This would not be an invitation or a save the date, just information. Those who need to travel could ask for more information.

The invitations for the second reception would be sent out 6 to 8 weeks before the event.

Neither reception is a gift giving event.

Best wishes,