[inspc4]

I am getting married on 10-10-11 which will be my grandparents 59th anniversary. My grandfather just passed away in December. I was thinking of having a picture charm of him on my bouqet. Also during the reception I want to have my grandparents wedding album displayed. How should I do this. Should I also leave an empty seat for him. I just want to make sure everyone knows this is her first anniversary alone and celebrate and remember my grandfather....ideas please?

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Your question really touched me. Your grandmother must be so proud and I'm sure this is a bittersweet time for her. It's sweet and so generous that you can share your day with her.

Only you know how much you and your grandmother can handle in public. When my son was married recently, he didn't want to make a lot of fanfare surrounding his father's death and obvious absence, since he's a really private young man. Plus, I think he may not have wanted to trigger the waterworks for me, God bless his heart! But, he and his bride did light a memorial candle in honor of everyone who had passed and made mention of that in the wedding program. So listing the anniversary and some information about your grandparents might be listing in your program, should you choose to have one of those.

All of the things you mentioned are good ideas. You just need to decide which of those things work best for you and your family.

[Nancy Tucker]

I so agree with Wedding Queen. It is very touching to mark his absense but also very important to avoid embarassment for your grandmother. If she is very open and this will not upset her, I love the idea of the charm on the bouquet. I would not leave an empty seat but would make mention in the program of their anniversary. You want to honor them both without it becoming a memorial. Perhaps your father could even dance with her to the anniversary waltz during the evening.

[Jacqueline]

I agree with the moderators comments. The picture charm on your bouquet is an excellent choice. A wedding is a very emotional day (happy of course) for families, with this said choosing how to mention your grandparents anniversary should be decided with your family in mind. I am sure your grandmother will be honored with your selection, but just keep in mind how she will feel.

[Etiquette Now]

I couldn't agree more with all of the above advice. I love the idea of a special dance with your grandmother. All dances are optional, so this is perfect. You might also want to incorporate a special dance for all couples who have been married for over 25 years (or choose your anniversary mark). That might be fun and sweet.