[country7girl]

I have read many posts searching for a situation similar to my own but have found none. I will wed my high school sweetheart of seven years this June. We both graduated at the top of our college classes a few years ago, but being from a rural area, have not found full-time jobs yet and we each will live with our parents until we are married. My MOH, my 20-year-old sister, and my mom (yes, I know according to etiquette she should not be involved) talk of a bridal shower but seem to expect me to plan and purchase everything (I already bought invitations and have been picking up prize gifts at bargain prices). I wouldn't even mind us all working together on a shower, but it seems like they expect a shower but don't intend to help much, if at all. The MOG and her 18-year-old daughter, a bridesmaid, have told me to tell the MOB and MOH they are willing to help plan the shower. I understand that I don't have the right to expect others to have a shower for me, but it really hurts me that my mom and sister seem so apathetic about my wedding and shower. My fiance and I could really use the gifts from a bridal shower so family and friends (and myself) would see me in the wrong if I did not have a shower to help us start our life together. I'm just mostly disappointed that I will have to do most of the preparations myself. (In our rural area, it is unheard of not to have a shower, and typical that MOB, MOG, and sisters help with preparations.) I realize this way of starting married life is no longer common, but does anyone have good advice for how to handle this shower situation? Thank you so much.

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

My advice would be pretty simple - bow out. Explain to your mother and sister that you don't feel comfortable hosting your own bridal shower. Then let your future husband tell the same to his mother. If the bridesmaids want to come together to plan a shower for you, great. Leave it all in their hands and stand back to see what happens.

[Etiquette Now]

I agree completely. Your sister may plan this, but if she chooses not to, then there will be none. It isn't polite to force the issue and it isn't polite for the bride to plan and host one.