[Sideline Quarterback]

This is a first time wedding for us as parents, and we have uncovered some issues percolating beneath the surface from the other side. Bride wants a ceremony in the mountains, parents want the wedding in their "backyard." We have not been asked to become involved in the planning stage yet, but the issues are already showing. We are supportive of what the couple wants, and we want to help, but do not want to be intrusive. We know that it is "their day," but we also are familiar with how family can sometimes be the hardest to work with in these situations. What is the best way for us to be of assistance to the couple, without appearing as if we are trying to take over the planning and "force" our views on them? Thank you all for any input!

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Hello Sideline Quarterback-

It's really tempting to step in and be the parents, isn't it? But I'd encourage you to just be supportive of the couple and answer any questions when asked. I'd leave the parents on the other side to their respective child to handle.

Be sure that the couple knows that you want to participate and how. Allow them to come to you for the advice and to ask for assistance.

I hope you thoroughly enjoy this planning time and the wedding day too!

[Etiquette Now]

I agree. It will be refreshing for the couple to have a neutral side if the bride's parents are pushing a bit too hard.

The couple should be allowed to plan the wedding they want, but should be respectful of all guests' comfort level. So, listening and offering any advice without pressure is usually best.