[MistyMay]

My best friend, let's call her Sally, (I have known her since we were born) announced her wedding date last October for September two years from now. Then today decides to move the date to September of this year - a full year earlier. I already verbally committed to go to another friend's wedding (Mary) on this new date months ago and have already made a hotel reservation and plans to attend with other friends. Am I obligated to change my plans now? Both weddings are at the same time of day so going to both is out of the question.

To make this situation more confusing, although I was never formally asked by Sally to be a bridesmaid it is implied (especially since I was introduced at a bridal expo as a bridesmaid). Does this change things?

I don't want to miss my best friend Sally's wedding but I also don't want to back out on Mary since she picked the date first. Just wondering what the best etiquette in this situation would be. Thanks for any guidance you can provide.

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

That's a really tough spot and I can see why you're conflicted. But, you already accepted mary's invitation and booked your travel, which I assume is non-refundable. I'd tell Sally as soon as possible that you already accepted another wedding invitation and made all of the plans. Maybe it's not too late for her to change dates (again) but I wouldn't have that expectation.

It would be really impolite of you to now decline Mary's invitation to attend Sally's wedding. Mary would undoubtedly be hurt. I don't envy your position and I'm sorry you have to make this decision.

Please let us know how this works out.

[Etiquette Now]

Ouch! I agree. I'm sorry you've been put in this postion. But, your first commitment is the biggest priority.