[lmck]

We've decided on having our ceremony in a local park. Because we were excited, we told the groom's cousin's girlfriend. (They're getting married this year; Us, next year. )

Since meeting with a professional photographer they've decided to essentially "crash a park" and get married somewhere else, which is fine, BUT they've decided on the park we want to get married in. I am FREAKING OUT!

My future husband mentioned it to his cousin that I was upset and the cousin blew it off and said something like "all this wedding drama is stupid". I don't feel like I'm the one who's created the drama. In fact, I feel like his cousin and fiance are insensitive to us.

I don't understand why they have to impose on my ideal wedding because they forgot -more like turned their backs- on creating their own. (His cousin's girlfriend is very anal and methodical about somethings but for some reason when we got together to start planning she just goofed off and took the low road and decided to get married at the courthouse)

We think that maybe his cousin said something to her because she messaged me a few hours later after telling us something about the park and how they "didn't want to completely steal" our idea. -- A part of me thinks that she figured out I like to plan and decided to take my plans before I could even start to put mine into place.

What should I do??

[Etiquette Now]

Dear lmck,

There really isn't anything you can do. But, there isn't anything wrong with their plans. There is no way to prevent others from wanting the same things you do. This just proves that you have good ideas. That is a compliment. Also, this could be a blessing. Sometimes when we plan an event that is held in a common area (the park) there are problems attached to it, such as strangers gawking or crashing and not being able to get enough chairs into the area for those who cannot stand. So, as she plans and executes her event, you will be able to take notes about what "not to do" and precautions you will take to ensure your event flows much better.

Best wishes,

[Jacqueline]

I agree, there is nothing to stop people from taking your ideas. Whether they have the wedding at the park or not; they won't come close to taking over how you envision your wedding day. If they have it at the park, then as the moderator mentioned, you can learn what not to do or you can envision how you want to set it up with your style.

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

What is that quote? Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

That may not make you feel too much better, but you really cannot control what others do. I'd say, going forward, keep all of your plans a secret if you don't want replication. However, if you keep your plans secret, and someone copies a plan, then you really cannot be angry about it. If you were my daughter here is what I'd say, "Honey, just plan the perfect wedding for you and your dream guy and forget about what anyone else does. It's your vision, designed for the two of you. If it suits you and the groom, then who cares what any other wedding couple plans? Only bother with the issues that have some sort of impact on your plans and those issues which you can control. I guarantee there will be an issue r two that comes up during the planning process. Don't plan for perfection. You'll always be disappointed. Hugs and kisses all around!

Enjoy the planning. The wedding day goes by so fast.