[DIANNAW]

My niece is having a "mini" reception right after the ceremony at the church and then a larger reception at a different location. Not everyone is invited to the larger reception. I am doing her invitations. How do I word the invitation so that nobody's feelings are hurt? Should we include a separate invitation to those invited to the larger reception? That way not everyone would even know about the larger reception. Should I just put "reception immediately following ceremony" on the invitation for everyone and then include a separate card for those invited to the larger reception? Is that the way to handle it? Thanks!

[Nancy Tucker]

How lucky is your niece, you have it figured out. Invite everyone to the immediate reception and then invite separately those you want at the full reception. Enjoy!

[Etiquette Now]

Actually, unless this is an open church wedding, this is very impolite. It doesn't appear to be an open church wedding though, since invitations aren't issued to all.

The rule is: all wedding guests are invited to the entire reception. All of them. It creates a tiered group of guests when we exclude some from the real reception--those good enough and those who are not. So, she will have to decide who to invite to the wedding that she can afford to host at her reception as well.

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

I was going to say the same as Rebecca. I wonder how the guests invited to the mini-reception will feel when they discover that there's a larger party to which they are not invited. And, all it takes is one person to mention it in passing.

[Nancy Tucker]

I stand corrected. I was thinking about the situation where all ceremony guests are invited to the reception but not all of the reception guests are invited to the ceremony. I apologize for my confusion and hope that my error has not caused an inconvenience for you.

[Etiquette Now]

Always the utmost professional advisor...you are the best.

[Nancy Tucker]

Thank you and I appreciate the correction.