[Cassie Calhoun]

My husband and I eloped last November. We have been together for 4 years, and knew we weren't going anywhere. His sister was supposed to get married in 2010, but due to some medical issues, they had to push it back a year. We were going to wait until after they got married to announce our engagement. Well, when it got pushed back, my (now) husband decided he didn't want to wait anymore. (Little did I know he had been waiting to propose to me for about a year and a half!) He discussed it with me, and I said that I would only be okay with if we had his sister's blessings. So we all 3 sat down, and she gave us our blessings to get married before her. So we did.
It was a very small ceremony, just my husband, his sister, my sister, his son, and myself.

The problem is, I still want a reception. But with her wedding being so close, I didn't want to take the spotlight off of her. So we waited. She's getting married at the end of April...we were going to do June 4th, but being so close to her day meant that we wouldn't be able to get any help financially. So I told him I wanted to wait until our 1-year anniversary, giving us time to save up enough (and then some) to have our day.

My dilemma is this. I want a traditional reception. I feel like, because we eloped the way we did, we missed out on some really big things, that I still want. I want to wear a white dress, cut the cake, have our first dance, everything. But...without having a ceremony to go with it, would it be too much? I want to wear *the dress*... but my mother said it wouldn't be right without having a ceremony. Is she right? Is having the reception so long after the ceremony going to mean that I gave up my rights to a traditional reception?

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, but usually a belated reception is held within one year of the wedding. It's already been over a year, so I'd have to agree with your mom on this one. Most of the "trappings" of a reception wouldn't seem right now like the first dance as husband and wife or the cake cutting, bridal bouquet toss or wearing a wedding gown. Also note that the reception isn't considered a gift giving event (the wedding is( so you wouldn't be expecting gifts either).

If I were you, I'd take the money I saved and go on an awesome honeymoon/anniversary trip and cherish THOSE memories.

[Etiquette Now]

I agree. Even a belated reception doesn't include most traditional elements. Plus, there are no wedding elements included like a ceremony or dress (sometimes the dress will be worn if the reception is held very soon after the wedding).

After the first year of marriage has passed, a reception isn't logical. It would then be an anniversary party. Most do not host anniversary parties and invite guests unless this is a bench mark anniversary (25 +).