[army mom]

My son and daughter-in-law were married overseas during his R&R from deployment with only a few family members in attendance. Several friends and family have asked if the couple is registered. They feel very uncomfortable about registering since there were no invitations to the wedding, the wedding has already taken place and they really don't want people to feel they should send them gifts. Is there a polite way to respond to the question regarding a registry? Should they go ahead and set up a registry for those that ask? (Note: we are considering sending announcements with a picture once my son returns to the States - but don't want that to look like a gift request. Are the announcments a good or bad idea?).

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Hello Army Mom -

Your/their attitude toward gifts is refreshing!

There's no rule that says they cannot register. But I'd just let those who ask know that they aren't registered and allow them to select a gift to send if they would like.

An announcement doesn't obligate the recipient to send a gift, though I'm surprised by how many don't know this. So, you're fine to send announcements to all those who need to know they've been married.

And I almost forgot to thank you, your son and new daughter-in-law for your sacrifices made for all of us.

[Etiquette Now]

I too applaud the focus here. Very refreshing!

The announcements should be sent out now. Please don't wait until your son returns home. These really should be mailed the day after the wedding.

[army mom]

Thank you both for your input it was very helpful. We will follow your advise and I will pass along your good wishes!