[Kebra]

My fiance and I are having a very low key "wedding." We live in PA and will be having a self-uniting union. So we will just be having a very nice dinner with our witnesses: my best friend and her husband, and his best friend and his wife. So just six people eating and drinking and being merry. I am assuming we should pay for dinner, but I am a graduate student and he is a farmer (read, we're not so flush), whereas his friend is a lawyer and my friend is a neurologist. Is it okay to say "no presents" (because we don't want any) and just have them pay for their dinner? Thanks for any help.

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

I'm not familiar with the term self-uniting wedding, but it sounds like something you do yourself. Not sure if that's legal. Better check into that when you apply for the marriage license.

Since we never mention wedding gifts anyway (unless asked) it wouldn't be right to ask your guests to pay for their own dinner. if you're asking them to take time out to be your witnesses, then it would only be right to treat them to some sort of refreshments afterward. If you marry at a non-meal hour you could ask your friends out to coffee or a drink, whatever you can afford. However, if you invite them to go to dinner then you'll need to pay.

[Etiquette Now]

I agree. We never invite and then ask our guests to pay--guests never pay for the party. So, I agree that it is best to scale back your plans for the merriment. Perhaps a dinner at home might be best.

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Oh, you know, I hadn't thought of that option, but it's a good one. Simple and relaxed and great for the wedding budget.