No longer want cousin to be bridesmaid

#1 finallyme100612

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About 3-4 years ago when I was originally planning my wedding (we postponed) I asked my cousin to be a bridesmaid. Now we are planning our wedding again and i don't want her in the wedding party since we've had a couple of disagreements over the past coupe of years. How do I let her know that I don't want her to be a bridesmaid?

#2 Florida Wedding Planner

Florida Wedding Planner

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This is a very difficult position to be in but you should be totally honest. Meet with your cousin and have a honest conversation with her. Let her know that your relationship has changed since the time that you asked her to be in your wedding. There is no way to avoid the hurt feelings so just be prepared for her to be upset about it. However, it is your wedding day and you deserve to have bridesmaids that you want to be a part of your wedding.

#3 Wedding Queen and MOG

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If you're having a smaller wedding than originally planned you could maybe say you don't need as many bridesmaids (and if you have sisters or a really close best friend who would trump the cousin you'd be asking them first).

#4 Etiquette Now

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I agree with both posts--very good advice. Plus, even though you are marrying the same person, it is a different wedding. So, there is some leeway there as well. Not that this will calm hurt feelings. But, it is something that can be brought up in that private conversation with your cousin.

#5 Dr. Meredith Hansen

Clinical Psychologist

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I agree that honesty is best in this situation. Your cousin will likely feel hurt and sad, and that is ok. Those are her feelings to understand and address.

Meet with her in person to share the news. Be caring, thoughtful, honest, and respectful. Let her know that you've decided to adjust some of your initial plans and that some of those changes include the bridal party. Allow her time to process her feelings with you, but try to avoid getting into a play-by-play of who has done what to whom over the past four years. If pressed for an answer, let her know that the relationship has evolved and that your feelings have changed. Remind her that you value her as a cousin and look forward to having her at the wedding (if that is true).