[MOG needs advice]

I am the mother of the groom. The wedding date is in early November, this year.

The venue hasn't been decided upon, and I want to help. Time is short and I'm having anxiety over whether this can be accomplished with so little time. The bride and bridesmaids have their dresses that's about all. Its been difficult because the bride has been out of town working and she just now returned with 2 months to pull it together.

Would it be ok for me to step in and start offering suggestions on
venues, etc. How involved can I be, and not overstep my boundaries?
I don't think the brides parents are going to be involved much.

More than once, I have offered my help, and I just got a "Thank you for offering", but never "we would like your help". This is hard for me, because I have time and financially want to contribute. I just want this to be a wonderful wedding for my son and his bride. What should I do?

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

As a mother myself, I know how tempting it can be to want to step in and make sure the "kids" have the best of everything. But all you can do is offer. It is up to them to accept. Keep letting them know that you're available. it wouldn't hurt to volunteer for specific duties, like addressing invitations or shopping for the cake.

Just like when they were learning to walk, sometimes they have to fall down while they are learning. be there to support them if you can and step back and watch them walk!

[Weddings Unlimited]

You've offered and there seems not to be a positive response of needing your help. As a mother of the groom, I was once in your position. Since so little has been done with the planning, I would try again, but first do this with your son. Just explain to him your concerns that there is so little time and so much yet to do. In fact, it is almost time to send invitations and there may be a real problem finding a venue unless they want a week date. Not sure where they are planning the wedding (big or small town), but many cities book out a year to two in advance. If you son seems positive to your help, meet with both of them again and try for a firm commitment. I think you've done all you can!

[Bridal Consultant]

The advice given is VERY true! All you can do is offer to help and it must be their decision to ask you for help. If you try to "help" them when it's not really wanted (yet) you will do more harm than good. That's when you overstep your boundaries. Sometimes, the best parenting we can do is hands off. When a couple is planning their wedding, it's the first time they will make important decisions for themselves. They are defining themselves as a couple - mistakes and all. If you do decide to talk to your son as was suggested, you can offer to pay for a wedding coordinator since you said you can financially contribute. A planner/coordinator will be a great asset to your son and his fiance during these last two months and he/she will help them pull it all together.

Best Wishes!

[Certified Wedding Planner]

Wanting to be there to help is only natural. If your offer to help is not yielding a positive response, the only other option I would recommend, is to speak with your son. Share with him your thoughts on what you are willing to contribute. Assure him that this is not an attempt to take over the wedding planning process, you're only wanting to make the process easier on your future daughter-in-law. Allow him to communicate that. Hopefully, she will become open to your contributions. You've done everything you can to communicate your desire to help.