[rose38]

i dont know if this is the right forum but i have a little problem

when my H2B proposed to me we told both parents when we got back home thsi is the second time for both of us

i phoned my mum as i live 75 miles from her and told her all she said was at last, we`ve only been together 3 years after we had decided on a date we went to venue and booked and registra also. I immdeatly rung my mum to tell her and asked her if she would be attending and she said to me she didnt know she might be going away which took me back a bit so i telephoned my uncle as my dad died 10 years ago and asked him to walk me in room and give speech which he gladly agreed to (I did ask both my brothers first but they didnt want to and we agreed my uncle be best person to do it ) so i rung my mum and told her she never said a word all that she may still be going away on holiday

I was going ask my mum if her and my H2B`s mum if they would like to share giving the thank you presents to the bridesmaid and bestmen as im having 7 bridesmaids and my 7 year old is apprentice bestman along with the bestman as i thought she would love to do that and i had arranged a thank you bouquet for her from us but she insisted she might be on holiday

I send out all inivtes and I get back a letter from my mum saying how digusted she was on the way she found out and that it should be her walking me into room not my uncle as my step dads niece got married but her dad died suddenly and her mum step in and his niece paid all her mums expenses(said it was a load of bu** that is has to be a man) but i have always been close to my uncle and as my brothers didnt want to do it he was 3rd choice. And went on to say that i was making excuses sayin she may be on holiday to people cos she wasnt comming to the wedding anyway to cut a long story short my mum said to stay away and let her get on with her life and not to expect a wedding present cos she dont expect a mothers day present (I always send my mum a card without fail) and to have the wedding on what day I want and were I want she wont be there. i have tried telephoneing but my step dad talks and tells me to let them live there life .

i have informed her all the way on decisons we had made me and my H2B not left my mum out once my mum had been the first person we called to say and say what was happening is my mum worried my uncle will include my dad in his speach as my step dad would have been there and was thinging it may be awkward but i dont really know my step dad all that well only met him about 5 or 6 times even when i lived only 30 mins away but i was always polite to him . I have telephoned my mum when i got letter asking my mum what she was on about and she said nothing ( my uncle is my mums brother)

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Rose,

I'm sorry about your problems. I'm not sure what your question is though.

I hope that you can sort throught it.

[lynsum]

Can you not see that have hurt your mother's feelings? As your only surviving parent, SHE should be the one to walk you down the isle, not your uncle. Why do you feel it must be a male that walks you down the isle? Yes, she was the first one you called, but the news you gave her was that you were choosing your uncle over her.

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Lynsum:

Thanks for replying since all of us moderators were having a terrible time figuring out what the problem was as well as the question. Perhpas you could translate for us?

[lynsum]

She is just venting and doesn't understand why her mother is being difficult. To me, it seems obvious that her mother is deeply hurt and is reacting but not expressing herself well. Most likely, her mother has been through a great deal with the loss of her husband, taking care of the family on her own, etc. To be cast aside by her daughter in favor of an uncle simply so a man could walk her down the isle is heartless.