[Emily]

My sister, who already has a child and has been on her own for some time, married a military man in a civil union several months ago. They are planning a renewal of vows/adoption ceremony in July. This renewal of vows ceremony will be just like a wedding, but with different wording. She has asked me to be the maid of honor. I felt obligated to say yes, although I feel this whole mock wedding is weird. Now my mother is wanting me to throw her a shower. Is this appropriate? My parents want her to have all the frills of a normal wedding. But, I feel she gave that up when she decided to elope in the first place. Should I host a shower????

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Emily,

A shower at this point is not appropriate. A shower is for the bride, not for one who is already married.

Now, the renewal of vows is quite common for those who have civil ceremonies and wish to share their commitment with the ones they love (there are other reasons people do this too). This is sweet, not odd. But, we all have our own opinions thank goodness ;)

Best wishes,

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

Another important note: Renewal of Vows ceremonies aren't gift giving events.