[Rbow04]

My daughter has asked me to sing at her wedding. I have sang solos at church and at weddings before. The song my daughter would like me to sing is very appropriate. The song is "I will be here" by Steven Curtis Chapman. I had suggested that her uncle sing it but she said it would mean a lot to her if I would do it. I am worried that I may get emotional during the song. I don't want to let her down but wander if this is acceptable. If I do decide to sing it, what part of the ceremony would you suggest? Is there any wedding etiquette on this matter?

[annemjuhlian]

I think it's wonderful that your daughter has invited you to sing a wonderful song during her wedding ceremony - one that suits you, too! Being nervous or getting emotional during the song are both possibilities - however, my sense is if practiced well, you'll be just fine. Also, emotion is beautiful during a wedding ceremony and if you do tear up during the song, those very real tears will be welcomed, not critiqued by all. As a Wedding Officiant here in Seattle, I feel very strongly that people want wedding ceremonies to be "real" not perfect or staged. And if you're too concerned about becoming over emotional during the wedding ceremony, perhaps consider the song during the reception when things are lighter and more festive.

[RevSusanna]

Mama, it's your job to cry!

A mother's shedding of tears on her daughter's wedding day, even while singing, is appropriate. Genuine feeling is what touches people. Let me tell you a story: At one wedding, the bride's Grandfather was to sing an operatic song towards the end of the ceremony, just before the parting blessing. It was placed there because of the title of the song (roughly translated "With you I leave..."). It was already a very emotional ceremony. When I called the grandfather forward he quietly whispered in my ear: "That was such a beautiful ceremony, how am I going to sing, I can't stop crying?" I gave him a big hug, assured him--- and he sang magnificently. His emotion went into the music. There were many tears in the room, including mine!

Regarding timing: A nice time for a vocal is just before the vows. Your officiant can introduce it or you can introduce it yourself. Very simply: " Music is prayer. Today, the bride's mother will grace us with a special song dedicated to her daughter and her new husband."

You and your voice will be held aloft by angels...and carried directly into your daughter's heart. Fear not.

Love and Blessings, Mom!

Rev. Susanna

[MusiConcepts]

We think it's beautiful that your daughter asked you to sing and any emotion expressed is what weddings are all about. The more you rehearse, however, the more confident you will be. The officiants who have already replied have made good suggestions as to the placement of the song, and it can be lovely during the reception as well.

[Rbow04]

Thank you so much for your advice. Your words about the song living in my daughter's heart touched me. I have decided to sing at her wedding. If it is inportant to Trish, then it is important to me. I will trust our pastor to decide where to place the song in the ceremony. The wedding is in August so I will have plenty of time to practice. I sang at a dear friend's thirteen year old son's funeral, who lost his battle with cancer a year ago this past Feb. I didn't want to but, when she asked, she said it would mean so much to her. I did get through without tears but only after many prayers to God for strength. I know that my prayers were answered because I sang better than ever, as if an angel was singing with me. I know that with prayer and faith he will assist me again. Thanks, Rhonda

[RevSusanna]

Your voice is a gift from God.

It heals.

It touches.

It uplifts.

It brings people back to spirit.

How blessed are you and the people who are graced by your voice.

(I will say a prayer that you will make it through. When my mother asked me to do my father's eulogy, my cousin commented that he did not know where I got the strength. You and I know.)

My heart to yours,

Rev. Susanna