[Karnochia]

I am getting married July 2, 2025 and I don't know how to plan a wedding. First, who lights the unity candles? Do the groom and the bride light them or the parents of the groom and bride light all three candles?

[RevSusanna]

Here are three options:

First, the mothers of the bride can light the side candles symbolizing their giving you life. Then the bride and groom jointly take those side tapered candles and light the third larger candle symbolizing the light of their love, relationship and marriage. (Another sweet option is to have two roses at the table which you can then hand to your mothers after they light the side candles. Often, I suggest to my couples to attach a personal note (a scroll) of love and gratitude.)

A second option is for you to light the three of them yourselves, each of you first lighting the side candles and then jointly lighting the center candle with the two candles you have already lit.

A third option is to have your celebrant light the side candles at the very beginning of the ceremony and then you light the center candle at the appropriate time just after the vows.

The lighting can be done in silence, with beautiful background music or with a few poetic or prayful words stated by your celebrant.

May it be blessed!

Rev. Susanna