[BrideDay]

My step daughter has a dilemma that she is struggling with. Her mother and Father (my husband) were divorced when she was 5. Her mother immediately re-married and "replaced" her natural Father with her new Step-Father including the faith that she was Baptized and to be brought up with (Catholic) to Mormon (none of the families are Mormon - groom's, bride's Father or her mother's family, etc.) She spent most of her time with her mother and step-father while growing up but maintained a relationship with her father (summer breaks, Christmas, etc). Her Father has been a major support for financial needs while growing up. Admittedly, she does not have a great relationship with her step father and realizes that her mother relies on her to be her emotional crutch. Regarding the giving away the Bride honors...she does not want to hurt either her father or step-father. She has thought about having both fathers walk her down the isle. (Honestly, I think that this would really offend her real Father). Another thought she has was to walk down by herself or to have her older brother walk her down. I believe anything short of her step father walking her down and her real dad paying for the wedding would upset her mother and she would make a wonderful event into an unpleasant ordeal for everyone (my opinion). Additionally, my step-daughter's fiancé' is Catholic and she has decided to return to the Catholic faith. This decision has made her mother upset and the Bride's reasoning is that it is "because Dad is Catholic". She is facing increase pressure from her mother on this topic as well. Suggestions?

[RevSusanna]

Weddings are often a time of great family tension as well as joy. I am sorry that your daughter-in-law has to endure this. I have see this situation many times before, and I have seen it "handled" in various ways. Sometimes the bride does walk down with both fathers. More often though, one father (say the stepfather) walks the bride to a particular point, (say where the sitting begins, or the bottom of a staircase, or the beginning of the pews, or even halfway down the aisle) and the other father takes over. There is no perfect or cookie cutter solution here.

In my opinion, the bride needs to ask herself what SHE really wants. Then she can gently, lovingly but firmly approach her family---telling them the way she feels most comfortable. She has the right to ask them to help her enjoy her wedding without such tension.

My heart goes out to her...

Rev. Susanna