[jidk]

I am getting married in Hawaii and people in my family that expressed they couldn't go asked if I am having something when I come home - so I decided to plan a small party for family and friends - really festive island style, show the video, pictures and hired a coordinator - a friend I know - to organize it.

My mother in-law thinks that is asking for gifts - which we aren't. So I left it up to my fiance and his family to decide who to invite to the wedding on his side and me my side - my fiance is very reasonable and good with this task.

My question - should we invite his family like we think we should or is his mom right? Should we just not send invitations to people she thinks are asking for gifts?

I am interested in your opinion.

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Coming Home,

Send the invitations to whomever you wish to share your happiness.

An invitation is not a plea for a gift. Sometimes it seems so, but it is not. Just let it be known, by 'word of mouth' that you are not interested in gifts.

If you did not send invitations to some, it would appear as if you deliberately tried to exclude them.

I love your idea of sharing the entire experience by creating an island feel and showing the video--one of my favorites.

Happiness!