[CraziED]

Hi,

I'm here and I need some advice.
My girlfriend and I are currently in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR). We are separated due to other commitments.

I'm planning to propose an engagement when I visit her in December this year. However, in order to provide the assurance to her and her family that I can and am able to provide for her, I need to finish my university education and start a career before we get married.

This will take at least 2 more years to accomplish. However, I understand that the time gap from the engagement to an actual wedding is commonly between 6 months to a year. But due to our special circumstances and constrains of a LDR, we are hoping to "seal our love" through an engagement 2 years prior to our actual wedding.

All right, now here are my questions:

a. What are the difference between Engagement Rings and Wedding Bands?

b. Are Engagement Rings for the lady only or can it comes as a set and both partners to wear?

c. Are Engagement Rings to be worn on the right hand 3rd finger during engagement? Would they still stay at that finger even after the wedding? (Wedding bands are to be worn on the 3rd left hand finger, so there would be a ring on both hand’s 3rd fingers?)

d. Can the Engagement Rings be used as Wedding Bands? This means that the engagement ring will be removed from the right finger and shifted to the left finger. And that the engagement and wedding rings are the exact same pair, nothing more. Is this possible?

e. Some jewelers can't explain the exact difference between Engagement Rings and Wedding Bands. (They often call their range the "Engagement/Wedding Rings/Bands" and claim them to be “for both occasions”.) Are there a real difference?

Your kind assistance will be greatly appreciated.
Thank you!


Sincerely,
CraziED

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

The engagement ring is traditionally a diamond ring given to the woman which she wears on the third finger of her left hand. They don't usually come as a set (as wedding bands do) however your girlfriend could choose to give you a ring or other symbol of her comittment to you; her choice. It really depends on who does the asking.

Wedding bands are the rings that are typically a band of gold or other precious metal which the bride and groom exchnage during the wedding vows. Each of you will have a wedding band.

I think where you are becoming confused is that some jewelers will sell the engagement rign and wedding band as a set for the woman. Tell the jeweler you want only the engagement ring.

Don't worry about the amount of time that passes between the engagement and the wedding date. Many couples choose to have very long engagements for varying reasons. Personally, I have been engaged for 2 years now and no actual date has been set. []

[CraziED]

Hi,

Thanks for your reply. I have another question, what would happen to the engagement ring once we're married and have our own wedding bands?

Can both of us wear it on the 3rd finger of the right hand? (Since the wedding bands should be worn on the 3rd finger of the left hand?)

Thanks!

CraziED

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

The wedding band and engagement rings are both worn on the same third finger of the left hand after the ceremony. The engagement ring is moved to the right hand for the ceremony and then moved back to the left hand after the wedding band is placed.

[pookabee]

Dear CraziED,

I, too, had a long distant relationship due to similar reasons. Although we never had trust issues, I wanted to promise him that I would be his one day and live together. I found a pair of sterling silver rings with green enamal and a vine-like design both for a man and a lady. I decided to purchase these and when I visited him next, I showed him my ring and asked if he liked it (I knew he would) and later on, I pulled his out and told him of my promise. We weren't really engaged because it's hard to plan a wedding when there's so much distance between you and your fiancee; these were merely promise rings, which we wore on the 3rd finger of our right hands.

Now, I've fulfilled my promise, we've been living together for a year, and he decided to propose marriage to me. He did so with a diamond ring and I accepted. Now that I have this engagement ring, we have now begun to actually plan our wedding. I wear the diamond ring on the third finger of my left hand.

On the day of the ceremony, I will be moving my engagement ring to the 3rd finger of my right hand and place the original promise ring on a chain on my neck. After the ceremony, the Wedding Band and the Engagement ring will be worn on my left hand, and the promise ring on my right.

Since the engagement ring is usually a green light to start planning your wedding, which will be difficult for some time given your situation, maybe the promise rings are a good idea. And these don't need to be expensive, I paid a little over $100 for both of our rings.

[CraziED]

Dear TWQadmin & pookabee ,

Thank you both for your advices. I think I'm getting a clearer picture of where should the engagement ring and wedding band should go to: they should both be worn on the 3rd left finger.

However as it seems, the gap between my engagement and wedding will be quite far apart (2 years). My concern is what if I’m not able to find a wedding band to match the engagement ring? Wouldn't it then look weird and not matching for them to be worn on the same finger on top of one another?

Could the engagement ring be shifted to the right hand 3rd finger while the wedding band stays on the left hand 3rd finger permanently? At the least, it would make my wife-to-be feel more comfortable than having to wear 2 rings on one? []

Thanks again.



Slightly enlightened,
CraziED

[Wedding Queen and MOG]

You really shouldn't have a problem finding matching wedding bands but if this worries you the two of you could make the purchase of the bands now and save them for the wedding.

All of your other decisions are personal ones; there are no rules about moving the rings. Tradition indicates that the wedding band is worn on the left hand but really, as long as you and your bride are in agreement, the rings can be wrn on whatever finger you like.