Bride worried about trashy games at Bachelorette party

#1 Guest_MittenKitty_*

Group: Guest users

Posted 04 July 2025 - 02:08 AM

Hi,

My MOH II is planning a weekend trip for my bachelorette party. I am worried that some of the games/activities/attire she will want me to participate in is trashy. I definitely prefer classy, not trashy. I think she sees the bachelorette party as more of an opportunity to embarrass me rather than just enjoy each other’s company for a weekend away. I have expressed this to her, but she insists she's the one planning it and besides, "there's no way for a bachelorette party to be classy." I've asked one of my other bridesmaids to bring it up to my MOH II again and share my desire to keep it clean. My bridesmaid doesn't think she'll listen but she'll try.

I don't want to be a poor sport, but I want it to be a fun girls' weekend, not a get-a-laugh-at-bride's-expense weekend. I know MOH II is putting a lot of time into the planning and I appreciate it very much, but I'm not sure how to respond if there's something I don't want to do or wear for the party...

#2 Wedding Queen and MOG

Forum Moderator & Wedding Expert

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Posted 04 July 2025 - 02:14 PM

You shouldn't have to be subjected to degrading games or attire just becuase this woman is hosting the party. I would suggest getting together with the rest of the women attending and confront this maid of honor. Tell her that none of you want this, especially the bride so please, no trashy or embarassing games. Otherwise, if she cannot agree you'll all have to leave the party por decide not to attend at all. With the support of the other women I don't see how she could refuse.

And, byt the way, there definitely are a ton of ways to have a classy, yet fun bachelorette party.

Here are just a few ideas:

Spa Day: A one day trip to a local spa for massages and a day of beauty or a weekend away at a luxurious spa.

Lingerie Party: Sip homemade pina coladas while the bride opens her lingerie gifts. Who couldn't use some new lingerie?

Jack and Jill Party: If many of your closest friends are already paired up why not have a Jack and Jill party and invite couples. Have decadent deeserts, lavish cocktails and fun games such as the home version of the newleywed game.

Use your imagination...and have some good, clean fun!

#3 Guest_MittenKitty_*

Group: Guest users

Posted 04 July 2025 - 05:45 PM

Thank you for the prompt reply and additional bachelorette party ideas. We already have the condo rented for the weekend, so I don't think anyone is going to want to change that part of the plan or add a spa day (we're all on a pretty tight budget).

I really don't want to wear plastic penises, condoms, Suck-for-a-Buck shirt...etc. Nothing embarrassing...just a fun, classy weekend with the girls. This fear came up when I saw colored condoms in her car. So along with much thanks, I recently expressed my requests to my MOH II in an email. If she still surprises me at our destination with a trashy outfit to wear, would it be poor etiquette for me to decline?

Also, I am driving my vehicle to our destination party (about 4 hours away) because I have more room for everyone in my Expedition. What are my etiquette expectations as far as expenses go (gas, food, drinks, lodging)? No one has asked me for money and the party is next weekend...do I assume everything is paid for, or am I expected to pay my own way like everyone else?

Thanks again.

#4 Etiquette Now

WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT

Group: Moderators of any forum
Posts: 10,334
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Location:Davis, CA

Posted 05 July 2025 - 11:05 AM

Dear Worried Bride,

If you want to decline, decline with a clear conscience. It is perfectly fine.

You should assume that you are being treated. It may be a good idea to take some cash just in case, but this is your party.

Enjoy!