[xtina411]

My partner just proposed to me with the ring her father gave to her mother 23 years ago. It is very special and I am really excited! The ring was a little too big though, so we agreed that I would take it to a jeweler to get it sized, and she ended up paying for it. The jeweler said that the prongs that hold the diamond in need to be redone though. I told my fiance that I would feel bad if I ended up losing the diamond her father gave her mother, and she responded by saying that when I have the time and the money, I can pay to get new prongs put on. I told her that I assumed this was her responsibility. I think we're both a little miffed now, which seems antithetical to the point of getting engaged and giving rings...can you help?

[Etiquette Now]

Dear Who Pays,

Traditionally the person who gives the ring would pay for all of the costs involved. So, you could approach this issue with a traditional: your parner pays.

However, times have changed. We live together before marriage, co-mingle funds, and wait to marry until later in life. If you two are sharing costs in other areas, why not this one too? It seems that if you are thinking about marriage, then everything should be shared.

That is only my opinion though.

Best wishes,