[vas]

Unfortunately, the 'save the date' list was inadvertently expanded over target amount of the 'invitation list', which was defined by the venue max seating capacity. Although it is understood that approximately 20% of invited guests either do not RSVP or decline, what is the best way to solve this situation, when it involves approximately 35-40 'save the date' notices?
Specifically, 239 save the dates; 200 max. invitations, 180 max. seating. HELP! Thank you.

[Ohio Wedding Planner]

I'll say this is a tough situation. What you'll need to do is create your invitation list into three (or two) tiers. You'll invite the number of guests that you can, listed on the tier 1 list and ask for the RSVP's to be in EARLY. Once you have a firm count from the first sent of invites, figure out how many more you can invite off of the tier 2 list. Invite those people and again, ask for a prompt RSVP. Once you get your number, obviously you'll have to stop sending out invites, but this way you might be able to invite most of the people you wanted to have at the reception. Of course, you'll have to ask for the RSVP's sooner than you would otherwise. Then, unfortunately, you'll have to contact the remaining people that you weren't able to invite and let them know that the site had a smaller capacity than you realized and unfortunately you aren't able to extend the invites to all of the people that you had previously hoped to invite. It isn't the fun or easy solution, but it is the best way I can suggest to handle a delicate situation.

[Etiquette Now]

This is very unfortunate and a very good reason not to send out "save the dates" if one isn't sure of venue capacity. It is considered very impolite to invite and then un-invite, which is one does when one asks a person to save a particular date and then doesn't follow up with an invitation. Plus, the tiered system of inviting can be insulting if not done well. In your case, it may be your only option. And, if done as suggested (good save and great advice), you might not insult anyone as they may not know that they are considered second or third class, which is what we do when we create lists.

So, try to invite everyone on your save the date list if possible. Those who must travel and may have bought tickets or made reservations for lodging should be on your "A" list.

Of course the best and most polite solution for this problem would be to find a different venue with larger capacity.

[Ohio Wedding Planner]

Just to follow up on the expert advice from Etiquette Now expert, it is true, if that system is done poorly, which is sometimes is, you may offend more people than you will plan as once news of this "tiered" list gets to your guests they will not be pleased. I definitely think this is your only option, outside of finding a new venue though, so best of luck.

[vas]

thank you very much!