[justfine]

My step grandmother recently passed away and my grandpa offered me her engagement and wedding ring since my wedding is coming up in 9 months. I was taken by surprise and felt very lucky and honored to accept these gifts. I also pride myself in being thrifty and was stoked we wouldn't have to spend any money on my ring. However, after seeing the rings, I realized that I don't really want a jutting diamond (even though I'm supposed to). I also don't really like the setting. I was wondering how appropriate it is to take in heirloom rings and get them melted down and remade? There are some small diamonds I could keep and maybe set the larger one in a setting that is more congruent with my style. I've mentioned the idea to my sister and my fiance and they have reacted very negatively to the idea because they think it would be disrespectful to my grandpa. What should I do?

[Makeup Expert]

Talk to your grandfather and ask him how he would feel if you would have the diamonds in the rings re-set in a more modern way. Explain that it will be the same stones and the same metal, but in a different design to match your more modern lifestyle. After all, diamonds are forever! If, however, you feel that the idea doesn't sit well with him, don't hurt his feelings!

[Jacqueline]

I agree, the first step would be to speak with your grandfather. If he doesn't mind you changing the style of the ring, I would recommend involving him in the remake process. If he doesn't agree and you want to use the ring, I would recommend using the ring for your wedding and in a few years investing in a ring you would like. (e.g. anniversary)

[Etiquette Now]

Great advice. I completely agree.