[zm2010]

My fiance and I would like to give our family and friends the freedom to purchase gifts at the store(s) of their choosing. We realize that prices vary at different stores; therefore, we prefer that they shop wherever they wish for the item(s) they can afford. Is there a way to provide them a list of items that we need and have them check off item(s) they have purchased so that we don't wind up with multiple quantities of the same item?

[Etiquette Now]

Dear ZM,

No, that wouldn't be polite. A registry is "just barely" polite as it is. It is a list of wants and wishes and sometimes these items can be viewed as presumptuous if they are expensive or odd, like DVDs. So, your only choice is to wait until people ask you what you would like or to establish a registry with the items you want and allow people to purchase these where they wish. Many people do this anyway. And, when they do, they typically try to let the couple know to cross the item off the registry list.

You might ask the store where you register if there is a way to add a personal note in the registry stating to alert the store about a purchase from the registry made at a different store. There may be a provision such as this.

Best wishes,